There is a club no mama ever wants to be a part of, but so many of us find ourselves in.

1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage. Behind that statistic are real women, real families, and little lives that will always matter.

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, and October 15 is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. It’s a day to remember the babies who aren’t earthside and to make space for the grief that can sometimes feel impossible to put into words.

And I'm one of the 1 in 4.

I think we talk about pregnancy loss, but we don't always talk about everything that comes with it.

The wondering what could have been.

What would they look like? What would their little personality be like? What would our family look like if they were here?

The guilt that creeps in.

Was it something I did? Could I have prevented it? What if I had done something differently?

Even when we know logically that we aren't to blame, grief can leave us searching for answers we'll never have.

And sometimes, it's the little things that bring it all back. A pregnancy announcement. A baby who would be around the age yours would have been. A milestone you never got to experience.

You can be genuinely happy for another mama and still feel that ache in your own heart. You can love the children you have and still grieve the little one you lost.

Both can be true.

As mamas, we're often so busy showing up for everyone else that we forget we deserve to be held, too. We don't always need someone to find the silver lining or tell us everything happens for a reason. Sometimes we just need someone to sit with us in the hard stuff and acknowledge that our baby mattered.

And that's what I hope we can continue to do as a village. Make room for the stories we don't always hear. Check in on the mamas who might be struggling quietly. Remind one another that grief doesn't have an expiration date.

Let's create a Wave of Light together

Every year on October 15, at 7 p.m. local time, people around the world light a candle in remembrance of babies lost during pregnancy or infancy. As the evening moves across time zones, those candles create a Wave of Light.

This Thursday, October 15, at 7 p.m., I'm inviting our FIT4MOM village to join me in honoring the little ones who aren't earthside.

Light a candle for your baby, take a photo, and send it my way. I'd love to bring our little lights together as a reminder that our babies are remembered, our stories matter, and none of us has to feel alone in this.

Whether your loss was recent or years ago, whether you've shared your story publicly or held it close to your heart, there is room for you here.

You don't have to share your story. You don't have to explain your grief. You can simply light a candle and remember.

And if you know a mama who has experienced pregnancy or infant loss, reach out to her. You don't need perfect words. Sometimes a simple “I'm thinking of you and your baby today” means more than you'll ever know.

To every mama in the 1 in 4, including me: I'm so sorry you're part of this club.

Your baby mattered. Your grief matters. And you deserve support, too.

We are more than a statistic. Our babies will always be part of our stories.

With love for every mama carrying a little one in her heart.